I have often said during my journey as a Career Services Representative that I plan to write a book someday of my experiences. There are so many highlights along the way that I will never forget. So, as a tribute to my recent 5 year anniversary working with Community HigherEd, I share with you a small glimpse into our world.
Listed below are my picks for the best job search bloopers. Enjoy!
- Why are you interested in the position? “To keep my parole officer from putting me back in jail”
- A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
- One resume stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
- Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
- Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”
- “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.”
- “Able to say the ABC’s backwards in less than five seconds.”
- “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
- “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
- Interests: “Gossiping.”
- Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”
- Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
- Objective: “So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ‘Jerry McGuire’ puts it, ‘Show me the money!’”
- Skills: “I have integrity. I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”
- Objective: “To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.”
- Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
- Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
- Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
- Salary desired: “Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.”
- References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
- Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
- Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.”
- Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”
- Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
- Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”
Special thanks to the following resources that were used to compile the top 25. Check them out here, here, here, here, here and here to see what didn’t make the cut. Keep laughing and enjoy your job search!